I realise that you were not waiting with bated breath for this recipe. Not even my Dad will be doing that. But I did say on Wednesday that I would be back yesterday, Friday, and I hate not to be a woman of my word. I plead extenuating circumstances which I won’t go into but does involve me being an unexpected and unlicensed taxi on more than one occasion, dodging an almost certain migraine in a store with poor lighting, and meeting a hastily imposed deadline. All not on the cards when I wrote on Wednesday. The day did end well though with the best staff party I can remember (and I am usually a non-drinker, so I do actually remember): the men cooked; we played silly games, including guessing who belonged to what baby picture – hilarious; we danced to Miss R’s specially prepared playlist; and there was even some abbreviated parkour for the more reckless among us (ie, all the men). I left after removal of dining table and dignity segued into a space hopper race.

The letting down of hair was so complete that even I, one of the night’s non-imbibers, awoke frowsty and confused, my body trapped in that vague hangover-like feeling that visits those who sleep longer than is their habit (til 9!). And, although I arrived at the party with only a frog for a voice, on awakening even this pathetic croak had been replaced by a mouse’s squeak. But all is good: the house is warm and dry, which is more than can be said for a good number of people in England who have been flooded out of their homes in a kind of Mayan last-laugh. And I have the added special bonus of Miss R, music jolly and blaring, making a winter version of this for my and Mr A’s anniversary, with some delicate shui mai ready for the steamer. I hope where you are that you are surrounded by ones you love and that you are safe and content.

Before I get to the blurb about the recipe I just wanted to explain the above photos. These are some easy and nature-inspired Christmas centre pieces that I, stylistically challenged person that I am, have made. The first two show the one I made this year, with bought eucalyptus, white carnations and little haberdashery baubles I got in John Lewis, plus greenery I cut from the sodden, muddy marshland that used to be our garden. The proportions are wonky and it’s all a bit blowsy, but you get the idea. The last one, from 2011, although much more rustic is, I think, more refined. Basically I used a bunch of colourful produce that I could recycle into recipes: purple cabbage, pomegranates, chillies, sage, parsley, bay leaves, Brussels sprouts and clementines. I piled these ‘artfully’ onto my old wooden tray and popped in some pretty candles, and that is it. I hope these may inspire you to look around and see what you already have that could be rustled up into a festive centre piece or table decoration.

Porcini Mushroom Stroganoff Strudels

My Christmas Tracks: KT Tunstall’s Mele Kalikimaka – the Hawaiian Christmas Song (get past the xylophone and you’ll be tapping your toes and pressing replay); Sweet Bells by Kate Rusby – love this accordian-laced version from the sweetest voice in English folk music.